Gray Matters 2: Giving Thanks

What is this gray, furrowed cranial lump
Wrinkled into swisscheesy folds?
MY BRAIN! (How dull!)
It no longer molds to my skull!
What was once a tight fit,
now sloshes much too loosely,
sized wrong from ear to ear.
I feel a squeeze in my chest
when I confess,
I’ve grown a size smaller up there.

Each drop in height or width,
cost me more memories causing despair>
Every thought or reminiscence is
somewhere burrowed between each furrow,
busy pulling up the ladders that make the connections;
thus I lose my directions.

I stop to mourn each time my meandering mind
cannot make a self-correction.
I grope for that A-ha! Eureka!
A connection to open up those miles of files,
to find that bridge across the abyss.
I think I’ve GOT IT!
I say it (sigh)
t’was but a miss.
Shock, polite looks avert from my pain,
so I try again…and again.

Those sleepy furrows shunt my thoughts,
down odd chutes
miswrought, untaught, caught in the cabinet labeled
“I thought you said…”
“It sounds like____”
“It starts with a…K”
???
(please, don’t look away)

“You know who I mean,…he was married to
whatshername, who once starred in, youknow, that TV show
with…that British guy with hair gone gray….??”
(I’m getting a rash, sweat pours down, front and back)
“Youknow…that actor that reminds me a little of my 3rd grade teacher…”

Such garbage slips glib from my lips>
You notice my struggle so politely,
both of us pretend it’s “normal”, so tread lightly.
I’m here! It’s still ME! Licking my wounded ego,
hoping you won’t go.
I need you so.
You’ve helped me grow.
This I now know.

Perhaps that extra space now freed up between ears,
behind a smiling face…
just perhaps there is some use
for this cranial abuse!
More room might allow
less gloom to seep through.
Light pours into my eyes,
glorious vistas, friends and family ties
have spaces to be.
Halleluja! So grateful to see.

Perhaps the gift of less memory
in this newly elevated real estate,
is the space from whence I can shower the world
from my gray ivory tower.
I can share love, new connections to tall,
drown out that self-hate
and destructive pall.

Now I care, I share it with all in a similar boat.
Guess what guys? WE FLOAT!
My thinker’s still ticking, we’re still kicking
and best of all:
New memories are now sticking!!
Our bane, OUR BRAIN, is now our blessing
GIVE THANKS AND PASS THE DRESSING.
AMEN.